So I went to the Dr's today...
So I went to the Dr's today
He told me I was psychologically ill
Asked if I'd thought about anti-depressants
Told me I needed to keep busy
Told me if I was busy I wouldn't be ill
Basically accused me of making up that I had a life
Said I needed to get out more
Tried to get inside my head
Told me I was under pressure to achieve
Hinted I was taking an easy way out
Saying my results suffer cos of my ME
That it makes life easier and I don't feel so bad when I underachieve
Asked a lot of questions about my life
Like he was trying to catch me out
Told me I was trying to secondguess him
To see if he believed in ME or not
I told him I'd had 12 years of this
Of some being supportive and some disbelieving
He told me 12 years was a long time
And again told me I needed a busier life
He asked how it had affected my life
I said I refused to give in
I may be behind but I'll get my degree
He doubted my determination
We talked about tests I'd had done in the past
I said many times they'd bled me dry
He offered me Anti-depressants again
Told me it would take it all away
Told me I needed a tetanus jab
Said I could have one today
I said it should probably wait til I felt better
He said I was hinting at it being a physical illness again.
I said I could understand it being psychological
If the only symptoms were headaches and nausea
But constant aching, weakess, fatigue etc.
How could that all be explained.
In future I'm sticking with my Dr
He wasn't in today so I couldn't see him
At least he know's it's a real illness
I feel defeated, I wish I'd not gone at all.
On a somewhat brighter note, I handed in some coursework today. Yay me.
He told me I was psychologically ill
Asked if I'd thought about anti-depressants
Told me I needed to keep busy
Told me if I was busy I wouldn't be ill
Basically accused me of making up that I had a life
Said I needed to get out more
Tried to get inside my head
Told me I was under pressure to achieve
Hinted I was taking an easy way out
Saying my results suffer cos of my ME
That it makes life easier and I don't feel so bad when I underachieve
Asked a lot of questions about my life
Like he was trying to catch me out
Told me I was trying to secondguess him
To see if he believed in ME or not
I told him I'd had 12 years of this
Of some being supportive and some disbelieving
He told me 12 years was a long time
And again told me I needed a busier life
He asked how it had affected my life
I said I refused to give in
I may be behind but I'll get my degree
He doubted my determination
We talked about tests I'd had done in the past
I said many times they'd bled me dry
He offered me Anti-depressants again
Told me it would take it all away
Told me I needed a tetanus jab
Said I could have one today
I said it should probably wait til I felt better
He said I was hinting at it being a physical illness again.
I said I could understand it being psychological
If the only symptoms were headaches and nausea
But constant aching, weakess, fatigue etc.
How could that all be explained.
In future I'm sticking with my Dr
He wasn't in today so I couldn't see him
At least he know's it's a real illness
I feel defeated, I wish I'd not gone at all.
On a somewhat brighter note, I handed in some coursework today. Yay me.
posted by Mafia! @ 7:56 PM
5 Comments:
At 9:58 PM,
Lozza said…
Chick it's horrible to be second guessed like that. Who knows your own body better than you do?
I went to the doctor once I'd had an extremely bad throat infection for a while and ok by the time I got to the doctor it wasn't as bad as it had been.
She basically took one look down my throat said that I do have a severe throat infection but it's nothing lemsip and paracetimol wont sort out when I'd been doing that for 2 weeks anyway. I was really annoyed at her because I only ever go to the doctors as a last port of call.
Then she looked at my notes and realised I hadn't been there for ages and said, wow you don't come to the doctors often do you, is there anything else you would like me to check while you're here.
I was like NOOOOOOO. I just wanted you to give me something for my throat that feels like I am having glass stabbed in my neck everytime I swallow.
It took another week and a half for my throat to start getting properly back to normal.
I know it's hardly the same situation chick but what I am trying to say is that I do understand and I can appreciate how you must have felt when that doctor questioned how ill you were.
You'll get there, I know you will.
At 10:16 PM,
Tristan said…
Babe, if I were there I'd have protected ya - I know it's a real physical illness and I'm never going to let anyone tell you, or me otherwise.
At 5:13 PM,
Juckle said…
chic! that has made me really angry. I use to try soooo hard to make people understand what ME is and that it is a real physical illness and that people do not make it up and I get sooo angry and complete and utter cow bags like this so called quack.
Makes me wanna get back onto the ME cause again and make people realise what it is and what sufferers go through.
Babe i hope you do get some relief soon and only you know your body and what it needs, dont busy yourself if you need rest you just do what works for you. Its never the same for 2 ME sufferers. Send him to me and I'll tell him my experience and give him a big kick up the ass at the same time!!!
At 12:18 AM,
Helen said…
oOo.. stupid ass doctor!!
Luckily the one Mike sees is pretty friendly and helpful - he's been going to an ME Specialist at Frenchay Hospital too, it might be worth looking into for you too?
Anti-depressants can help treat a few of the symptoms - sleep pattern etc but then you still need the co-codamol to kill major pain and don't always wna be taking loadsa pills!! And as Juckle says, it's different for each person - that's why the doctor's don't know how to treat it I guess.
Anyway, hope you find something that helps soon! xx
At 3:36 PM,
KT's Place said…
Yeah, I'm a nurse and I work with doctors all the time, but I have had some pretty bad experiences myself. The thing is, your shouldn't have to defend yourself and if you leave feeling worse than when you arrived that is so horrible.
One of my best friends at Uni had ME and I know that it is not an easy thing to grapple with. It doesn't help that so many people are disbelieving. There are, however many of us who do believe and are truly sympathetic.
I am praying for you, especially with all the busyness of the wedding upon you.
God will keep you and sustain you.
XX
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home